The taste of Galut

It's the saddest night of the year, and Jews all over the world are sitting on the floor and crying for what we have lost as a nation almost 2000 years ago.
I know I'm supposed to feel sad... and I often do. But I don't really know how to feel sad on command, just as I don't know how to be happy on command in Adar, or love on command - I mean loving God. Or fearing Him, for that matter.
So, to get myself in the mood, I'm thinking of Galut. Not the endless dark night I know from books, but what Galut meant for me.
Galut is when somebody greets you with a "Jesus has arisen!" - and you have to answer, as their ritual demands, "indeed arisen", or they'll be offended, and that's really bad. We can't anger THEM.
The same THEM as march on your streets in brown shirts with shaved heads, even though it was THEIR grandfathers who have defeated the monster and saved the world some 70 years ago. THEY no longer remember, or agree - what does it matter anyway. We step into a shadow to let THEM pass. Before THEY can estimate the length of our noses and figure us out.
Galut means living in fear.
I did not know the word "galut" when kids with blond hair and blue eyes threw stones at me, or kicked me in the stomach, "to see a Zhid begging for air", or openly sneered when I had to name my nationality out loud evey 1st of September. Somehow, "Russian", or "Ukrainian", or even "Tatar" isn't funny. But a "Jew"?! That's hysterical. Because the word "Jew" is a dirty word. Look at this stupid girl cursing herself out loud, so funny.
For me the taste of Galut isn't the smell of the vast river in my beloved Kiev, or the taste of the first snow in October. The taste of Galut is when THEY threw rotten cloths we used to wipe down tables at the school canteen into my face.
That is the taste of fear. Fear of being recognized as one of the cursed ones. Of the authorities (police) laughing when you ask for help. Fear of being seen standing over the huge ravine called Babyi Yar and looking not at the mud down below - but up at the 30 meters tall poplars, growing so well on Jewish blood. And remembering the members of my family whose bones are in there. Imagining the fear they must've felt in the last minutes of their lives. Imagining being one of them...
Galut means stepping aside, hiding, hoping not to be seen, recognized, sniffed out.
I did not know I was a Jew till age 7- my parents didn't bother telling me. They thought it was self-evident. It was the kids who told me. No amount of mimicry could ever help us - THEY always knew. Whether it was in a line waiting to buy bread, and you heard "Jews fought in Tashkent", or at the department store "Jews always get the best stuff", there were always eyes watching, making sure Jews knew thier place. And if not, a hissing sound of "What a pity that Hitler didn't finish his job with you people" flew after you, sticking like a spit onto your back, reminding you who you were and where you were. When in Galut, you don't forget it for a second. It flows in your blood, and comes in and out with every breath you take.
I still don't know if I was stupid or brave for reading Tehillim on the underground, with the Jewish letters screaming out from the page :" we are still here". Am Yisrael chai.
Or singing Jewish songs on the dark streets of Kiev, so dark, that you can't tell if it's a human or a dog approaching you, for it's all shadows. (remember, girls?)
It was in those years that some of THEM would say, you're so lucky, you've got your own country to go to. Really? Nu, and isn't Ukraine YOUR own country? I guess they realized that by now.
I am so happy tonight. Quiet gratitude that no words could express. Because my children will never taste that sour, rotten fear. They will never feel cursed for just being who we are.  They will never fear for their lives just because the policeman thinks the blood in his veins is a different colour.We are Home...
May the beginnig of our redemption only grow and gain power. May we, indeed, wake up to Mashiach.
P.S. my mother lived in Kiev for 65 years, and never experienced ay anti-semitism. I still don't know if that's naive or lucky... but the majority of Ukrainains are very nice poeple indeed, figting for thier independence yet again, and I respect them whole-heartedly.

A ticket into adult life

If you had a magic wand in your hands just for one second, and could fulfill any wish in the world, what would you wish for? I know exactly what I'd ask.
I'd want all people to magically acquire the ability to judge others favourably. So when you're asked an innocent question, you won't assume you're being attacked. So when someone cuts you up in line, or on the road, or acts selfishly, you'd be able to see the child in them. To see their pain, worry, or at the very least imagine them. To see that they're doing all they can with their lives, their behavior, their connection with God and other humans. So that every person could see beyond themselves, even if it's only as far as the person sitting next to them on the bus.

Can everybody, please, lower the volume and thin their skin just a little bit?  And just live and let live? I call that being an adult.

This morning I watched a secular bus driver get into a heated argument with a Chassid in the front seat over absolutely nothing, total trivialities, and I could almost see the bubbles of their thoughts:

-I had fought for you in Lebanon! What an ungrateful, selfish brat! Son of a %^&*)_!!!!
and the other one:
- I learn Torah day and night, and keep myself holy, to save you from Hashem's decree! What an ungrateful selfish brat! Unholy chiloni, sheiketz!

And all I could see were two little boys shoving each other, saying , my brother is bigger than yours! or something else equally powerful. Can't they SEE that the other one also has a point?! That the other one isn't a parasite, or a shekietz, but just  a human?

Treating others with respect, just because they're human is perhaps the only subject we really need to teach, to make this world perfect.
Somebody wants to marry a person of the same gender? Sure. You know why? Because it's not hurting me in any way whatsoever. Or anyone else, for that matter. They are adults, and I'm not God's representative. And if someone sees themselves as one, here is a Russian joke for them.

"A man, sitting on a bed in a psychiatric ward, keeps on screaming out," I'm Jesus! God sent me to save you"! A voice from another room answers, "Crap! I didn't send anyone!"

So, if you think God has sent you, please check if you could be admitted. The only person whose behavior you can control is - that's right! - you. And absolutely nobody else. Not your spouse, your grown up kids, your neighbors or anyone else. Or the gay community, the workers Union, or the boy scouts. Their issues are between them and God, and nothing to do with you. Let them be. Become an adult, own your life and no one else's.
When I walk on the street, it looks as if every person is encapsulated in their own glass cube. When they try to communicate, half the time they can't get the message across, because it gets lost or distorted on the way. The walls between people are just too high.

Can we please teach communication skills in schools? So my students stop throwing chairs at each other for lack of words and ability to get the message across? If not in schools, then a chug, a course, anything. In college, in the matnas. Don't give them a ticket into adult life without it.  Gosh, how we need it. I think it could even lower crime rates, because if people were trained to talk instead of pulling out the knife on the spot, lives would be spared. How can we possibly talk to Arabs when we can't even talk to each other?!

Fishing for little things

Our Sages have defined suffering as reaching into your pocket,  thinking you have 10 coins, and pulling out only 5. As in, little scratches in life are no less real than the big things. A cut on your finger isn't a severed arm, but it still hurts. It's valid, it's real.
Let's do an exercise of "on the contrary". I heard Jews are really good at that.
Happiness is in the little things. If you don't train yourself to see them, you might miss the "big fish" when it comes along.
Happiness is having coffee from your favourite mug. Bitter chocolate and sweet memories.
Biting into a fresh crust of bread after a long walk.
Having food at all is a very happy thing, too.
A hot shower. Music that speeds up your heart and makes you run faster.
Finding some shade on a hot sweltering day. 
Happiness is curling up with a good book, with a night light, in a warm clean bed.
It's when you have someone to call when you're hurting.
Walking on the street with someone you love, and noticing how their step matches yours, and imagining life path ahead of you, full of big and little things to celebrate and share.
Happiness is when you wake up and nothing is hurting.
Happiness is when your little one wakes you up claiming there is a crocodile in her bed, and you start laughing so hard that she ends up laughing, too.
Stretching out on the grass, with the infinite sky above your head, and knowing that you are free.
Free to travel, study, grow, come and go as you wish. Talk and say what you think out loud - it's a free country.
It's lighting candles and thanking Him that you can thank Him. Address Him.  For the connection. For life. For the fabric woven from mitzvot and community, the smell of chala on the stairs and rogalach at the kiddush. Soap in the spring and dusty bamboo in autumn. The taste of Home.
Happiness is having a house to clean, and having people who will dirty it for you again and again. Sitting down on a Lego piece - ouch- and thinking of the little hands who left it there. And having that little hand in yours, crossing the street.
It's in knowing that the fighter jet flying over your head is piloted by an Israeli. A good Jewish boy, maybe a former student. Don't be afraid, kiddo, it's OUR army that's guarding us this time.
Happiness is looking in the mirror and realizing you've got quite a few more years left - hopefully.
It's in having hope. That things will work out, or get better, or that help will come form somewhere.
Happiness is being able to concentrate at work, and having a boss who appreciates you.
 And finally - for me - happiness is in being able to put it all into words, so it doesn't explode my heart from the inside. 

A day in Altz-what's his name's land

Tick-tock, Back and forth
Count your steps.
Waltz is three, clock is two.
Tick-tock,
turn down the shampoo.
The diapers and cars.
or maybe not.
Days float by
in hazy shreds.
Maybe it's the window.
Wipe it.
With shampoo. 
A film is on.
Without a beginning
An egg, some milk
a bit of bread
When was that?
In that place...
that big, big place...
Skoda is a crappy make. 
Ten coins ago.
Where are all the damned spoons?
Where is he?
Who? - Him.
Who's him?
I don't know.
Call him, please.
What is this thing?
It's all your fault.
Books are funny these days.
And the portions - too small.
I'm always hungry.
Tick -tock.
Who took my bed away?
or maybe not...
We had fattened geese.
And soft beds.
And real milk..
I'd like some tea, please. 
Daddy was so tall
Why is it so dark?
When is the day coming?
You're an idiot to vote for this government. 
This salad tastes funny.
Not oil? Soap?
Why are you bringing me tea?  I hate tea.
Take me home, now.
A shaking wrinkled hand reaches out - 

Jerusalem

Jerusalem.
She is an oxymoron, a city of peace that has not known any since time began.
So noisy, yet the silvery bells of silence ring behind the curtains. Stale embroidered brocade of the Arab Shuk and the glitter rain of Succot. Jerusalem of blood, and shakshuka. Ice cream and drums.  Sirens and the Shabbat trumpet. Jerusalem of the theaters and museums, red strings and tzedaka boxes, cholent and the most exquisite windows and doorways. Synthetic modesty and brazen nakedness, tefillin boys and bescarved office she-wolves muttering Psalms on the bus.
Leafy serenity of Katamon, buzz of the city center, and pine cones at the Independence Park.
The cats, having mastered Zen tranquility, observe humans scattering like mice.  Dust obscures the time as it passes, and time turns into dust right in front of your eyes, and stops for a bow at the Kotel.  Eternity winks at you from the window and offers you a tissue.
They'll slap you and throw you to the ground, then run to pick you up, because you could've gotten hurt.  Still in their slippers, because it's Home, and why bother for brothers?
Ever growing Jerusalem, steel and blue glass and  monuments that say everything, yet nothing you could understand.
When the sun goes for a dip in Tel Aviv, Jerusalem blushes the sunset on her cheeks and changes into her purple gown. Till the garbage people alarm her hustle and bustle awake.
Jerusalem, wearing her grey raincoat, splashing at you playfully from every puddle, and showering your feet on every staircase.  Stones polished into a skating rink till no dirt sticks to them.
And faces. Wrinkled faces, screaming with grief faces, clowns and madmen, hungry and greedy, longing and bored, and young olive saplings round the table blessed from Above. 
Walk all around her and surround her, count her towers and make her yours. Watch the elders spitting out the seed shells in her gates and know that the King is standing close behind the Wall, listening in, knocking at the door, looking for His beloved.
Know her, walk her, build her, love her with your every step. Don't waste a minute. Because you're living here for yourself for all those who didn't.
 

The pink elephant, quia absurdum.

Living in Bet Shemesh. A beautiful town, without the sea, but with fantastic people. A real gathering of the exiles, communities full of chessed and parks for the kiddies.
But you know there is a BUT coming. The BUT is the fanatics who are trying their best to change the way we think and see things.
When I fist came to Israel, I used to hang out with the really heavy duty chassidic families in areas like Ezrat Torah in Jerusalem. Where women shave their heads and eat in the kitchen. Where boys and girls in one family cannot communicate even if they wanted to, because they do not share a language. The boys speak only Yiddish, and the girls - only Hebrew.  One of the grandmas there showed me her wedding album, and oh gosh. In the 30s, chassidic women wore skirts above the knee, and no socks! Her friends were photographed in short and light white and colourful dresses,  with hair showing, free dress style, open sandals, and looking very much like my mom did in her USSR life in the same 30s. The men had white suits, no beard, and no peot showing. Chassidim! What changed?!

When I came to live in Israel in 1995, there was one (one!!) separate bus in the whole country. And charedi people themselves found it weird and pointed at it, saying, oh, the crazies. Shall I remind you what it looks like now? Shall I remind you of all the cases of men hitting women (!) for refusing to sit where told? Bus tires sliced, bins burned.

11 years ago, when we moved to Bet Shemesh, the local advertising papers would publish pictures of girls under the age of 5 or so, but not older. No women. But at least girls! Since then, the faces of those girls have been blurred. Then, eventually, there were no girls at all.  The latest rules dictate that no women's names are to appear in the media.
The full list of new rules appears here: http://lifeinisrael.blogspot.co.il/2015/02/the-crazies-of-bet-shemesh-set-new.html
Here are some of them:
 * no images of sheitels or hair
 *  no images of men modeling anything. images of male children must be clearly haredi.
 * no advertising judo, self-defense, etc classes
 * no advertising driving lessons for women or yeshiva bochurim
 * no advertising mixed events or performers who perform before mixed crowds.
 * no advertising evenings of music or chazzanut even if it is for a male-only crowd and for a mitzva
 * no renting rooms for rent,  unless it is in a haredi area
 * no advertising restaurants or other entertainment spots that are not in haredi areas
 * cannot use the words "tzimmer", "pregnant", "nursing", names of women, ...
 * no using words and concepts of the army, police or academy...
What's happening to my people?  It's clearly a process. Where is it taking us?

The latest is that the very word "woman" has become dirty. There are pictures circulating on the social media - the Bet Shemesh women's wellness centre had the word "woman" obliterated.  This made me think of the lecture I've heard once from a dear teacher at Neve, Rebbetzen Heller. And her words stayed with me. She said, when people consider a thing dirty, they'll keep on inventing new euphemisms for it, while the old euphemisms will keep on becoming derogatory. Examples - any term related to the human reproductive system and excretion. Sadly, the same happened with the terms white people used for the black people - because of racist minds, ever new and exciting terms keep on coming up - "black" instead of the N word, etc. "Breast cancer" is the "women's disease".  So the word "woman" is the new derogatory. I dare my dear readers to look out for the new emerging euphemisms, invented to replace the "dirty" concept of "women". Because they'll come.

I find this tendency absolutely terrifying. For a number of reasons -
 1. Where does this stop? And does it? Why don't the authorities remove the children from homes where girls are forced to walk around in black tents and turn to the wall when a male enters? Is that any less abuse than, let's say, drug use? Or children who are beaten by their parents and get forcibly removed. In secular homes, children are taken away for a lot a lot less. The State is betraying those children.
 2. The split between the charedi society and everybody else - even the moderate charedim. In some 50 years we won't be one nation - there will be the tzanua ones and the ones who didn't measure up. Call it the new Christianity or whatever - it's coming.
 3. As the process goes on, there will be more and more violence against women and those who are in any way different. Extremist and narrow thinking cannot abide by any difference.
 4. The psychological aspect - this is not bordering on neurosis, it's way more. Thousands of children are receiving an education designed to damage them psychologically. The sex-phobia, the huge pink elephant nobody wants to talk about. Living in shame and fear of one's body.  When will they start removing lamp posts, because they look like the male member - I'm telling you, it's coming, too. Any object could be used for the purpose of fornication - because in their minds, all people think about is that. Regards from grandpa Freud. And our children will share the world with theirs. How?
I'm sorry to say, but for me, as a person who happens to know history really well, this situation is screaming louder than the sirens we had in the summer.  It's bringing up heavy associations - with the Inquisition, for example. This world view is more Christian than Christianity is today. With the Soviet style oppression of those who are different. With all the tragedies caused by racism. This is straight out of Orwell. And Freud. We claim to be the Chosen People, with God-given Torah and a just, Divine-ordained conduct of society. But the two just don't stitch together. If you believe one, the other is absurd, and visa versa. We cannot be both Divine -inspired and chosen, and try to obliterate the women. We can't have a society where only men are equal/chosen/accepted/ in existence.  We do not do "credo quia absurdum" - we have always been known for our logic. SO what's going on?

My postulate is that this tznius process is an extreme reaction to the Holocaust. Some people (Rabbis?) believe that we can prevent a recurrence of it by being invisible. By being more holy than humans, by becoming a body-less society, angels. If we are perfect, or rather, we don't exist in this sinful world,  there will be no Holocaust anymore. Their hatred for the State comes of the same root - the active, fighting and voting Jews are exposing themselves to Divine retribution, just like the "maskilim" did in the 30s, and if wrath gets poured, it will be poured on everybody. It's not a coincidence that the stories of the righteous escaping the Nazis by direct Divine intervention are bestsellers in the Charedi society. It is not a coincidence that they prohibit men from working - body-less men engaged in Torah only will sweeten the judgement. It's not a coincidence that women are expected to dwell in the Tent - that's how a woman becomes a body-less angel. Invisible and safe. The charedi society is disengaging not only from the secular Jews,  it's parting with the physical world as such. As much as possible.
Solutions? I have none. Perhaps this process has gone too far to stop or reverse it. But the only ones who can - the Rabbis - are actually propelling our people forward. They're removing them from the world in order to save them.  I don't know what can break the solid glass wall of their fear.
As the society becomes more and more stringent, more and more people part with it. They should have some kind of a support framework. And perhaps, it's time the State interfered to create that support. Many people have nowhere to go.  Perhaps time for the State to cooperate with the Rabbis. Time some things became illegal, and came with heavy fines. Because the shekel is something anyone understands. Time to open education centers, libraries, matnasim  in the Charedi areas - places where kids can find out about the world. Some kind of youth support groups - under the guidance of the Rabbis who do see beyond their noses.Education and extremism cannot go together.  And we can petition the State on the eve of the elections - for the sake of the future generations, for all of those. The women's party is the best and most hopeful sign of possible change.   It's time for charedim to come back to the world. Time for their children to stop living in terror.  God has placed us here to live and enjoy what we can.

Interviewing Ruth Kollian.

As a person who’s spent 8 years trying to be a charedi, as someone who knows the women’s situation there first hand, news of a charedi women’s party came as a bolt of thunder from a clear sky. How could this happen? According to our Rabbis, the place of a woman is in the kitchen. Are they, as well as everyone else, subject to changes that are taking place in our society? Observing the deep sociological processes taking place in that society may lead us to a conclusion that charedim might wish to be integrated in the wider society, and enter the work force market. And that leaves me hoping that one day our society might heal whole. Ruth Collian is the brave lady who dared take the rabbis on and walk her own path. 

-tell me please, why is there a need for a separate charedi party for women? And why now? Which needs and wishes are not being answered?

- there are 2 reasons. Firstly, the conditions in which charedi women live, and consequently, the state of their health. During the hearing in the Knesset committee for the position of women in the Israeli society the following statement was made: the mortality due to breast cancer is twice as high in the charedi sector as amongst the secular women. Why is that? The words “breast cancer” are not deemed modest enough to merit discussion. It’s the “women’s illness”. Charedi women take the eighth place in life expectancy in the Israeli society, while their men take the second. Why is that? How can that be, they eat the same food and breathe the same air. The difference is in the fact that women are being exploited.  The existing educational system allows women to become kindergarten teachers, school teachers and nursery workers, and that’s about it. Those women do not know their rights. Often, they don’t even have their travel expenses paid. For an 8 hours working day a woman gets paid a miserable amount of 2700 shekels, and her family is destined to live in poverty. There are thousands of those women, and our task is to help them.

The second problem is the women who suffer abuse in their family, usually by the hand of their husbands. Usually, they will not dare ask for help until their lives are threatened in a very meaningful way. And even if they dare, they have nowhere to turn. To ask for help means to be disowned by the wide community. I say that the abused woman gets beaten thrice: once by the husband, once by the community, which refuses to help her or to as much as acknowledge that such things take place in our society, and lastly, by the state. There are 14 shelters in Israel, out of them only one is suitable for the needs of the charedi women. It is difficult to understand, but that’s how it is – such a woman would never agree to be housed with her children in a shelter that has a TV set. For her whole life she’s been taught that the TV is the source of all evil. For her, that spiritual danger is much more meaningful and real than the damage done to her and her children by the father. And even that one and only shelter is full to its utmost capacity. And so she is being abused by the state, as well.

There is also the problem of the Rabbinic courts, which were given incomprehensible amount of power over people’s lives. It is a government institution which only employs men. It’s not a normal situation. There are judges who do their job honestly and diligently. However, there are judges who simply torture the women, trying to expose them as mentally and emotionally incapable. “Even if you are normal”, they say with their whole attitude – “by the time you come out, you’ll never be normal again”. In one case I know of, a woman complained that her husband abuses her, beats her. Once he poured a cup of water on her head, in front of her children and her whole family. The judge asked her, was the water hot or cold? – Warm, she answered. – And was the day hot? See, he cares for you! – was the judge’s conclusion. Women encounter despicable treatment when they turn for help. The attitude is “you were raped, but you must’ve enjoyed it”. Litzman and other Knesset members would gladly allow a woman cleaner into their house, but would never allow a woman attorney (toenet rabbanit) into the court proceedings. This is exactly the problem that we would like to fix – we intend to train women to work with the rabbinic courts, who would have the right to return a case for an additional hearing in cases of injustice. It’s time to bring an end to this carnival of bullying and humiliation. 

Obviously, we intend to care for the whole society, and not just our specific sector. The changes we intend to bring about would help all Israelis who weren’t born by the “feeder.” For example, we would like to extend the maternity leave, and to give men equal rights when claiming it. See, what happens now is that a woman comes for a job interview, and what goes through the head of prospective employer is that she is likely to give birth soon, since she is still in her reproductive years, so a man gets hired instead. If men could claim maternity leave, this consideration would no longer be relevant for the employer. Also, consider single mothers. Married women can earn as much as they want, while the poor woman who got dumped by her husband, and her husband doesn’t pay her the child support money, is limited to 4200 shekels income. If she earns more than 1600, she loses the child support that the state pays her. Is that how the Jewish State should conduct things? While her husband continues to live a life of leisure, as if nothing happened, she is just barely surviving. We would like to give these women an option of studying for a profession, so that they could provide for themselves. To turn them into a member of the society who benefits the whole, instead of being a burden on that whole. The State is effectively telling the women – go work without paying tax, get an undeclared salary. Because she cannot survive on what they give and allow her to have. The State doesn’t care about the children growing up in dire poverty. There are thousands of such mothers. This is something we would not give in on.

Also, many parties discuss the zero tax on basic products. But the list of those products just shows how far they are from the people.  It’s essential to include not only bread and milk on that list, but electricity, gas and medicines. Those are the essential products! Obviously, this would only apply to people who really need it.

For the “Russians”, I have another idea. The doctor who treats my children moved to Israel when she was older than 40. She spent 7 years proving her license. I asked her about her pension, and she just laughed. Pension? I don’t have any, she said. Well, that is unacceptable. The Jewish Agency brings people in without a consideration of what might befall them here. I would like to insist on a budget pension for all such people, who hadn’t had the time to earn it. Aliya should never be a goal in itself; we have to think about how these people will survive here. When I look at that doctor, I think of my mother. I wouldn’t want to see her in that situation! The State has to take responsibility for the people who cannot provide for themselves.

-Why do you insist on being represented in the Knesset? See, the problems of the Russian speaking sector are not new, and yet our representatives in the Knesset hadn’t been able able to solve them for the last 20 years. Why do you think you’d be able to help the charedi women from there?

-The Russian-speaking deputies also cannot identify with the person on the street – just as their Israeli colleagues cannot. They don’t know what it’s like, to live in fear, to not know where your piece of bread will come from. They can never understand it... I’ve been through it, and I understand. See, now I’ve got my lawyer’s diploma, I could just sit and make a decent living for my family, just like everybody does. But I can’t forget the suffering I’ve seen. 

-That’s exactly what I’ve been wanting to ask you about. How come you’ve got such a prestigious profession – you are a lawyer. The Rabbis, as we know, do not approve of people studying in universities, be they men or women.

-I’ve begun my studies, when, I think, the Rabbis haven’t quite figured out yet that a college is the same thing as a university. Now they would’ve never allowed it. When Rav Ovadya was still alive, because of his daughter, some rabbis were more lenient. Now they’re not.

- Tell me, what do you feel coming your way from the community? Is it animosity? Support? How do they treat you? I know the charedi community from the inside, and I can tell you that you are an incredibly brave woman.

- Yes, once they called me from a charedi radio station. The interviewer tried to expose me as a fool, as a little child. “Tell me, are you bored? Why not go do something useful in your kitchen? Why the Knesset? Are you even charedi?” – that’s what he said to me. I don’t take animosity to heart. There is a God, and He knows what’s really in my heart. He knows my deeds and intentions, and I do not have to give account to anyone else. There are Rabbis who support my initiative, but I can never name them, because they would be publically shamed. I would rather not run for the Knesset, than expose those people and cause them any kind of discomfort.

- what are the consequences of this campaign for you? For your family? Does your husband support you?

-at first, I was terrified. People would say to me; “Your children will never find a shidduch, because of what you’ve done. It’s terrible, when your daughter turns 28, and everybody is throwing her looks because she’s not yet married. Aren’t you afraid?” – and then I thought – why would I want those people in my family, anyway? Maybe I would not want them, and not visa versa? I am waiting to hear this question again, because now I have an answer for them. For some guy to marry my daughter, and demand that she becomes a nursery teacher to be exploited, without any rights? Never! Don’t let them think they’re doing me a favour by accepting me!

-Tell me, charedi women, when standing there alone in front of neat rows of cards with party names, are they still under control of the Rabbis? Would they dare vote for you? Or do they think God will punish them?

- at the polling station a woman stands alone, just with herself and God. Yes, many of them will say, I know the system is corrupt, but I am afraid. I hope there will be enough of them who will dare. That’s exactly how it is – I’m not even sure my own sister will dare vote for me for the fear of the Rabbis. She is one of those exploited nursery teachers whom I hope to help...

- Would you say these elections are a turning point in Israel’s history? What will change after them?

- Unquestionably so. People are saying that the protest of the charedi women is the most justified protest in the history of the State. It’s an earth-shifting change. It’s a promise of knowledge and independence for the charedi women.

-It sure sounds like a dream! I honestly feel like pinching myself. You are such a free-thinking person. Would you like to see the girls studying in the Bet Yaakov system developing free thinking skills, as well? Would you like to see more women attorneys? What would you change in that system?

- My children are getting a decent education. They are studying English...

- and sciences, as well?

- No, I’m not sure they do. But I’m very pleased with their studies. I insist on them getting a professional education, so that, God forbid, they would never be a burden on society. We say, make your Shabbat a weekday, but do not rely on others. And this is the society that is dependent on others in its entirety? That’s a disgrace.

- how would you deal with the fanatics who spit at women, burn bins and puncture tyres of “Egged” buses?

- We can only deal with them by explanations. Secular people often don’t understand just how our people are ready to give up their lives for the most minute injunction of the Torah. They perceive the new drafting law as an attempt to make them violate commandments. We must make it clear that the army doesn’t demand anything of the sort. It’s natural for people to be afraid of new things.. so they’re afraid. They just don’t know. I always compare the charedi society to an egg. If an egg is broken from the outside, it dies, but if the shell is broken from within – a new life is born. So too with our society – the changes are already taking place, but they must come from within.

- well, I’d like to wish you much luck in the upcoming elections! Thank you for sharing your views with ReLevant!