Sunday 25 October 2020

To Freedom

 

Sometimes commands

To "sit!" and "stay!"

Are used – but not on dogs.

Sometimes huge walls arise,

And doors are locked,

To keep me safe,

Where the Big Outside

Cannot see me.

Sometimes handcuffs

Look like cute knitted mittens,

When my unruly left hand

Is tied behind my back.

Because "nothing here

Is yours". Yet. Or ever.

Because I matter so little

That I look down at my body

And expect to see air.

I can easily imagine

Myself anywhere,

Because I barely exist at all.

And when I do,

I am a piece of BAD.

Transparent is better.

So I might as well

Leave the dreary Land of Grey No.

And win myself back

From transparency

One fit muscle at a time.

The walls step back,

But I'm still afraid.

Until you show me

That there weren't any walls.

You laugh in the Big Fun Outside,

Yet I hold on tight,

Because it makes me dizzy.

You swing on swings,

And savour wine,

You dare to be,

In your body

Out in the world,

To speak and dance

And claim your space and time.

"Let me try", - I say.

"Take me with you".

You give me a hand,

But my walls are a snail's shell,

They come with me.

My spine has grown into a kennel,

I am chained in to "sit!".

My body folds onto itself.

I bring pieces of the World

Into my kennel to study.

You say it makes me "smart".

One day – I promise! –

The kennel will become a backpack,

I will climb through the door

That you hold open for me,

And join you in the World.

One day the walls will crumble,

I will join you in your freedom,

Just don't give up on me.