The dragon who waited

I am playing that I have a dragon.

If I had a dragon, she would be purple.

She’d have a saddle with golden tassels.

She’d carry me on her back.

She’d hold my heart for me

And then I wouldn’t have to

Sweep it off the floor

When my breath trips up

And my stomach crumbles.

I wish I had a dragon.

***

She is real, and she is mine.

Nobody will ever know

That I carry a dragon

She fits in my jeans pocket.

***

The dragon did not grow…

I think she might be dead.

And I think I am dead, too

Inside my own pocket.

Maybe she was just plastic

And maybe so was I.

***

Now when I pinch my skin

On the back of my hand,

It doesn’t spring back.

I am a popped balloon.

A raisin looking in the mirror

Wishing for a veil

Of forgetfulness

Then, horrified,

I retract my wish.

Behind the mirror

Is my wallet with secrets.

Withered secrets

Sixty years of age.

An ivory elephant,

A leather strap,

A die with numbers,

And a purple plastic dragon.

The dragon unfolds her wings…

“Where have you been?”

“I’ve been looking for the way

Out of my own pocket.”

Sparks of glitter

A lotus rising

Out of my middle

Chitin shell cracks

I will never sweep my heart up again

It clings to the light

It’s time.