Have you ever met a person who has no memory for faces or names? Hi. That's me.
I see a person on the street, they smile at me, and I know I've seen them dozen of times, even spoken to them. But who are they? My kids know not to ask "Who is that?" till the person in question is well out of earshot. Because, chances are, I have no idea. Sometimes they say hello. Ask about me. And I'm standing there, raking my brain: is she the mikve attendant? or a bank teller? Oh, I know, she is a teacher in my kids' school. Or a mother who also sends her kids? Maybe she works in the supermarket and I stood at her check-out point yesterday? Does she live on my street? Is it a new sheitel/hat or she's not who I think she is? People look a lot like each other. And I see the same people in different places again and again, because this neighborhood is so small. I have no idea.. Sometimes it goes like this:
-when are you coming to us again?
-um.. don't know.. I'll be in the bank next week...
-Bank? I mean the gym!
-oh...
They must think I'm an idiot.
When I close my eyes and try to imagine a face of someone I know well, or even someone I love, family, I see only a blur. Individual features, but not the whole. A haze. And I hate it when people have abstract profile pictures. I need to see them. There is a name for it -Prosopagnosia. But I don't think I fit the real clinical criteria. Because in the end, people whom I know, I know forever, even if it's been 20 years. I don't think my wife is a hat.
The worst is when I know this person from a few places. She's both a bank teller, a mother of a kid in the school, and she goes to the gym. God help me.
(wait, wait, don't laugh yet, it gets better)
I come to my son's school to speak to his teacher. I look into the teachers' room, but I don't remember what she looks like. I stand there, looking at all the sheitels, then finally dare it. I think this is her, yes, in fact, I'm positive. I approach her, but she walks right past me, without recognizing me. His teacher knows me well, even if I don't know her... Next time I wait to catch her when she's actually teaching them, then I can really be sure it's her. In another week she walks past me on the street, again, without saying hello. After a few more times I notice that sometimes she's pregnant, and sometimes she isn't. Yeah, I know I'm crazy, but not that crazy! I ask on of the mothers, and she tells me that the teacher in question has an identical twin who works in the same school! How unfair. I barely know them people when they're not identical!
But the real cherry on the cake happened when I was taking my driving lessons.
My instructor, Tomer, knowing that I had a bit of a phobia of driving testers, offered me to drive with other teachers till I get used to it. Great idea, said I.
Next time he pulled over by my house, I was on the phone with him, but then noticed that he wasn't holding the phone, and in general, he didn't look like Tomer. I decided he was fulfilling his promise, and sent me somebody else, while calling from somewhere else. So I get in the car, and drive for 2 hours, and I'm ever so shy, because I don't know this guy, right? Till it's time to pull out from around a dangerous corner, and he tells me to go. I say, but Tomer said, that...
I don't even get to finish the sentence. What do you mean, I'm Tomer! - he screams. I pull over, speechless. He doesn't look anything like the guy I know. He stares at me for a second, then takes out a pair of huge sunglasses from the glove compartment. -Now do you see Tomer? - Yes, actually, now I do... It was a cloudy day, and I've never seen him without sunglasses before. Ouch.
Well, what can I say. Please don't be offended if I ask you who you are again and again. Sometimes it takes me up to 5 times to remember and recognize someone, and always know who they are. And if you change style, we might have to meet all over again. And despite all that, I notice what is not obvious. I have no idea what people wear, but I know when they're sad. I might not know who you are in the beginning, but I see your backache and the liver malfunction, high cholesterol, metabolic syndrome, joints pain and bags under your eyes. Nothing supernatural, it's all the stuff I learned in alternative medicine courses. I don't always see just through my eyes, and I'm finally learning to be thankful for what is, and not to cry over what isn't.
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